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June 4, 2011

Fuck Buddy Games

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I’m having a little trouble understanding men and what they want in these fuck buddy situations.  It seems like they have a certain set of rules, but they don’t communicate the rules.  The rules are set up for their benefit, of course.

I’ve got a bone to pick about a particular situation I keep hearing about and finding myself in.  It seems to be the main reason these fuck buddy relationships end.  Oh Lord,  I just used the “R” word.  Guys go crazy when they hear that word.  To the guys reading, the word relationship means a lot of things.  Chill for a second.

I hear from male friends, potential lovers and exes that their fuck buddy relationships, or “arrangements” if you will, ended when the woman started acting emotional, crazy or “caught feelings”.  When I ask for specific examples of this behavior, it is always the same thing.  They claim she was complaining about the lack of time or attention.

Then ask specifically what she said.  It never sounds so crazy or emotional.  The man spends some time with the woman and they have a really great time.  They connect and the sex is incredible.  Then the guy decides that he wants to distance himself, for whatever reason.  He doesn’t tell the woman he’s going to do this, or why.  He just does it.

The woman will wonder what is going on, if there is something wrong and will ask “why don’t you call anymore?” or “why don’t you answer the phone?”.  Logical question, right?  But the man hears “I am planning our wedding right now”.  Ok, maybe that  is an exaggeration, but he claims this is evidence that he will be forced to spend all his spare time with her.  And her question is evidence that she is overly emotional.  Or crazy.

But I don’t see how men get that from what was asked.  I ask these men if they have ever asked their male friends that question.  You know, they have a guy they hang out with and watch the game every weekend and then the guy disappears for no reason.  Do they call the guy up and ask him why?  Of course they do.  And the guy friend just answers the question.  It doesn’t mean anything else.  But they say its different when a woman asks the question.  It never just means what she’s asking, she’s trying to obligate them.  Then they react by running.  (An emotional reaction, maybe?)

But it was the men who started the mess to begin with by playing the “busy” game.  Don’t tell me I’m making it up.  Guys love to do that.  I know because women do it too.  Hang out or call every day and then just quit.  They could be busy, but they could also be playing a game to get the girl to chase them.  And when the girl chases, Gotcha! The woman is crazy and he needs to run away.  (Until he is horny and doesn’t have anyone else to call).

I think I’m gonna make up some arbitrary rules.  If a guy wants to have sex more than once in the same week, he’s addicted to Pussy.  Pussy is so good, it has driven him crazy and he can’t control himself.  I don’t want to feel obligated to give him sex whenever he wants.   I need to distance myself so he can detox.  So he doesn’t start stalking me.  Can’t be too careful. ;)

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